im drinking this country out of the recession.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
