The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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