Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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