im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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