I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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