I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize
