Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
How does one acquire holy water?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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