How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
