Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
