She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
