Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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