I want to make a zoo with you.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
