how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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