Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
now i know why i became what i already was.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
