I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
