I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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