So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
