I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
