I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
