So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
