thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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