one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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