it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
