Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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