So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Randomize
