Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
