She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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