You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
