you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize