I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
