He kissed a someone with a penis
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
