yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
