you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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