You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
