My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
