I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize