I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
