I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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