I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
