I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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