Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize