it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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