Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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