I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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