Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
