what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
