Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
