It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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