my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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