So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
