There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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