Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Barsexuality is the new black.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
