i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
God gave him joint rollers for hands
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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