Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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