you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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