I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
