I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
