Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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