Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
