i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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