dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
