found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
